Critical Hit Tables - Scaling Crits for Weapons and Spells

Critical Hit!  Those two words can make or break a tough battle, depending on what side of the GM's screen they come from.  Recent editions of D&D have tried to simplify crits, making them deal max damage every time.  If you are like me, that's no fun.  Getting a critical hit is all about rolling on tables to see what crazy thing happens.  Will someone's armor get broken?  Will someone lose an eye?  Dare I mention the fabled instant death critical?

My main impetus for making these tables was my growing frustration with the GameMastery Critical Hit Deck.  Too often would a player draw a result that was less than spectacular, or didn't make sense in the situation, and it was easy to forget to step-up the damage result if the weapon had a x3 or x4 crit value.  Plus, should 'Severed Spine' and 'Lip Cut' really have the same 1-in-52 chance of turning up?  When it comes down to it, it's a lot more satisfying to roll dice on a table than to draw a card.

This set of critical hit tables is built with the assumption that you will be using weapons with x2, x3, and x4 crits, with higher crit values providing better chances of getting better crits.  If you are lucky, you'll get to roll for an additional effect on one of three separate tables (one for each damage type: bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing), with effects ranging from 'Bad Bruise' and 'Disarm' to 'Punctured Lung' and 'Temporary Amnesia'.  Plus, there's a Magic Crit table, with results broken up by spell level (0-2, 3-5, and 6-9), because what kind of GM would I be if I didn't give you a chance of summoning a gelatinous cube every time you cast scorching ray?

Enough preamble; let's take a look at these tables!  Below, you'll also find guidelines for their use, and optional rules to make things even better.

When attacking with a weapon that can do multiple types of damage, the player should state what type of damage they intend to do.  If they did not (or if the weapon does two types simultaneously, like the morningstar), follow this hierarchy: Bludgeoning, Slashing, Piercing.

The GM should feel free to be creative in the application of these effects.  For example, the ‘Hamstring’ result against a flying creature might cut a wing tendon, reducing the creature’s fly speed.  The ‘severed Hand’ result against an Aboleth might simply eliminate one of its tentacle attacks.  Try to make the result work with the biology of the creature being hit.  For any crit result that would not normally affect the target (for instance, bleed damage to a construct or undead), simply deal the weapon’s normal crit damage instead.

An effect that lasts “until healed” means until magical healing or a successful Heal check is received (unless otherwise noted, the default DC for such a Heal check is 15).  An effect that lasts “until recovery” means until the ability damage dealt is removed.   Effects imposed by the loss of a body part last until that body part is somehow regrown (as by the regenerate spell), although prosthetics may mitigate the effects somewhat.

Losing a single hand or arm does not affect a spellcaster’s ability to cast spells with somatic components; a spellcaster needs only a single free hand with all of its fingers.  If the spellcaster’s only free hand is missing fingers, impose a 20% arcane spell failure chance on somatic spells for every finger missing.

If a roll results in damage to, or loss of, a limb, but does not specify either right or left, randomly determine which once is to be damaged.

Optional (But Recommended): It is the nature of the game that each individual player will be the subject of more critical hits than each individual enemy.  If you want to lessen the chances that your adventuring party winds up a limbless mess, only use these tables against the party when the enemy dealing the crit is a major antagonist or a powerful monster.

Optional: For creatures negatively affected but not necessarily killed by beheading (such as undead, constructs, or creatures with multiple heads), the GM may rule an Instant Death result with a Slashing weapon as simply a non-lethal beheading.

Optional: If you are frustrated that Dexterity covers both your agility and your nimbleness, feel free to make this optional change:

• For crits relating to legs that deal Dex damage, convert every 2 points of Dex damage to a -1 penalty on Reflex saves and Acrobatics, Climb, Escape Artist, Perform (dance), Ride, Stealth, and Swim skill checks.
• For crits relating to arms or hands that deal Dex damage, convert every 2 points of Dex damage to a -1 penalty on Acrobatics, Climb, Disable Device, Escape Artist, Perform (keyboard, percussion, string, or wind instruments), Ride, Sleight of Hand, and Swim Skill checks.  

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Download the tables as an easy-to-print PDF from my patreon page here (click on the little PDF symbol to the bottom right of the picture).

These Critical Hit Tables are compatible with the 3.5 edition of the world's most famous RPG, and also the one about finding paths.

-your overly critical d20 despot