Monster Monday: Sword Golem, a Thousand Angry Blades

Today's Monster Monday is the sword golem, a magically animated guardian that is forged, Iron Throne-style, out of thousands of swords. This noisy construct can slice and dice its way through any obstacle, launch individual swords at distant targets, blast groups of enemies with an explosion of blades, and even discorporate and transform its body into a wall of spinning swords. In short, this is a versatile monster that can provide a challenge to seasoned adventuring parties, and which fits in well in nearly any dungeon.

The origins of this monster lie in my childhood. I distinctly recall walking through the neighborhood at night and hearing loud scraping and clanking sounds coming from the neighbor's garage, like someone was shaking a sack full of scissors. Obviously, it was just the neighbor digging through his toolbox or something, but because it was dark out (I lived in a wooded area with no streetlights) and because I was young and easily spooked, I imagined a terrible monster whose body was made out of hundreds of swords and blades, all of them scraping rustily together as it moved. The image stuck with me somehow through the succeeding decades, eventually manifesting itself in this monster.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Dire Eagle, The Largest Bird of Prey

Today's Monster Monday is the dire eagle, or harpagornis. While it is nowhere near as large as the giant eagles of Tolkien's Middle Earth, the harpagornis has the benefit of having actually existed. Not only did it exist, but it lived recently enough to kill and eat humans.

illustration by John Megahan in this article, via Wikimedia

When the Maori arrived in New Zealand in the 13th century, they found a mountainous, forested land full of giant flightless birds - moa - that were really easy to hunt. Then they discovered what ate those birds. It was a huge eagle with a nine foot wingspan. It dropped from the sky with the force of a falling rock, striking its prey with talons spread wider than a man's hand. If that didn't kill the moa, it could slash its neck with a quick nip from its sharp beak. If it took down a young moa, it might even be able to fly off with it.

The Maori soon hunted the moa to extinction, and without their favorite prey the giant eagle went extinct soon after. But the eagles and humans coexisted for over a century, during which time the eagles probably got a chance to try out some new bipedal prey. Maori legends tell of a giant man-eating bird called a pouakai that was large enough to carry a man off in its talons. In one tale, the hero Hau-o-Tawera bested the bird by making a large strong net and having some villagers walk around under it looking tasty. When the pouakai dropped out of the sky on them, it was trapped in the net and they stabbed it with spears.

Today, the giant eagle of New Zealand is called the Haast's Eagle, and its scientific name is Harpagornis, meaning 'grappling hook bird' because of its massive talons.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Seafoam Slime, the Coastal Creeper

Today's Monster Monday is seafoam slime, an aquatic ooze that lurks in the shallows waiting to rush out like a rogue wave and tackle its prey, pinning them and filling their lungs with foamy water so that it can drag them back into the surf to feed.

The seafoam slime has Improved Bull Rush, Trip, and Drag, allowing it to unleash a barrage of combat maneuvers designed to disrupt a small part of adventurers in a way that feels very natural for what basically amounts to a living wave. It may be a CR 4 monster, but its Drown ability means it can easily incapacitate an unwary adventurer if it gets the drop on them.

photo by Brocken Inaglory, via Wikimedia

Sea foam at Ocean Beach, San Francisco

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Amphicyon, Prehistoric Bear-Dog

Today's Monster Monday is amphicyon, also known as the bear-dog, a prehistoric predator related to both bears and dogs, which had features of each. The largest bear dog species had the size and power of grizzly bears, while smaller bear-dogs acted more like wolves. The bear dog statted up below is somewhere in between - a predator with the bulk and strength of a black bear, but a more wolf-like head and tail.

Reconstruction of the amphicyonid Ysengrinia
from an article by Borja Figueirido, Juan A. Pérez-Claros, Robert M. Hunt, Jr., and Paul Palmqvist, drawing by Óscar San−Isidro, via Wikimedia

Amphicyonids in all their myriad forms roamed across North America, Europe, Asia, and Africa from 46 to 1.8 million years ago. The larger, more bear-like species were probably omnivorous, but ate more meat than modern brown and black bears. The smaller amphicyonid species could be represented by the stat blocks for wolf, dog, or dire racoon, or by applying the young simple template to the stat block below. Giant amphicyonids like amphicyon ingens can be made by applying the giant simple template.

Also, I bet their cub-puppies were adorable.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.