War for the Plane of the Apes: Man-Ape, Simian Killing Machine

Today's Monster Monday is part IV of our month-long series about apes. Today, we take a look at the creature that kicked off my month-long crusade to re-stat the great apes. The man-ape is a savage creature combining the raw strength of an ape with the upright gait and fighting ability of a human. They look like something halfway between a shaved gorilla and a Silly Putty sculpture of Vin Diesel.

If you have read some of the original Conan stories, you have probably encountered a man-ape of some sort. Take, for example, this totally rad Frank Frazetta painting of Conan fighting one:

painting by the late Frank Frazetta

It is worth talking about why Conan occasionally encountered and fought these evolutionary dead ends. Robert E. Howard's worldview was very anti-civilization. He believed that civilization made men soft, weak, and corrupt, while the savage life of the barbarian kept men virile, strong, and true. He was also convinced that mankind was trapped in a cycle of civilization and destruction. His Conan stories are set in the fictional Hyborean Age that existed after the collapse of the Atlantean civilization and before the rise of historical civilizations like Egypt and Sumeria. At the same time, Howard lived in a time when evolution was not well understood, and racist pseudo-sciences like eugenics were popular (along with regular old unvarnished racism). In his description of the Hyborean Age, Howard essentially describes how each of the earth's races evolved from different types of apes at various points in prehistory (including Northern European white people, who he hilariously describes as having evolved from 'snow apes' north of the Arctic Circle).

This is problematic for a number of reasons - mostly that it is wrong and also racist. What it means for the world of Conan is that the races of mankind are: 1) different enough from each other that their closest common ancestors are not humans, and 2) that people of the Hyborean Age are barely removed from savage apes. Conan himself, as Howard's ideal man, is so powerful and brutish that he can face off against one of these gorilla-like proto-humans one-on-one and defeat it. They represent the true, sub-human savagery that Conan comes from, and that he is separated from only by his sharp wits and Cimmerian good looks.

Now you know some of the weird, racist backstory of man-apes in the world of Conan. But I trust you can come up with a decidedly non-racist reason for them to exist in your own campaign setting. It's actually way easier to do that than to follow Howard's tortuous path. Like, you can just say a wizard did it. That always works.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

This hulking, hairless ape snarls as it sees you and hefts a greatsword in one hand.

Man-Ape    CR 3

XP 800

N Medium humanoid

Init +2; Senses sense 60 ft.; Perception -1

DEFENSE

AC 15, touch 12, flat-footed 13 (+2 Dex, +3 natural)

hp 34 (4d8+16)

Fort +5, Ref +6, Will +0

OFFENSE

Speed 30 ft.

Melee greatsword +6 (2d6+5), claw +6 (1d4+2 plus grab), and bite +6 (1d4+2);

or 2 claws +8 (1d4+5 plus grab) and bite +6 (1d4+2)

STATISTICS

Str 20, Dex 15, Con 19, Int 5, Wis 8, Cha 6

Base Atk +3; CMB +8 (+10 grapple); CMD 20

Feats Improved Grapple^B, Intimidating Prowess^B, Multiattack, Power Attack

Skills Intimidate +8, Survival +2; Racial Modifiers +2 Intimidate

Languages Common (cannot speak)

SQ oversized weapons

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Oversized Weapons (Ex)

The man-ape’s powerful build lets it wield weapons larger than those made for an ordinary human. It can wield one-handed weapons sized for Large creatures in two hands without penalty, or one-handed with a -2 penalty on attack rolls. It can also wield two-handed weapons sized for Medium creatures one handed with a -2 penalty on attack rolls.

ECOLOGY

Environment any

Organization solitary

Treasure none

Man-apes are hulking, brutish beasts, standing nearly eight feet tall with rippling muscles stretched over their broad frame. While they stand upright and are relatively hairless, like humans, they also have the prehensile toes, forward-thrusting mouths, and sharp canines of a great ape. Some posit that they are a discarded branch of mankind’s evolutionary tree, others think they may the product of some ancient wizard’s meddling, while still others suggest darker pedigrees. Whatever their origins, these beasts are rarely seen anywhere near civilization except as trained thugs and brutish guards employed by evil and unscrupulous characters. Man-apes in such employ are typically given weapons, flashy trinkets like copper armbands or necklaces, and sometimes piecemeal armor.

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Plot Hooks and Encounter Ideas

• Beyond the door lies the great treasure that the PCs seek, but guarding the door is a ferocious man-ape, armed with a chipped battle axe and kitted out with half-plate.
• Your next opponent in the gladiatorial arena: a brutish man-ape wielding a shield and trident.
• As you probe the depths of the ancient temple of black stone, a screaming trio of hairless apes comes rushing out of the darkness.

-your Thurian d20 Despot