Monster Monday: Sword Golem, a Thousand Angry Blades

Today's Monster Monday is the sword golem, a magically animated guardian that is forged, Iron Throne-style, out of thousands of swords. This noisy construct can slice and dice its way through any obstacle, launch individual swords at distant targets, blast groups of enemies with an explosion of blades, and even discorporate and transform its body into a wall of spinning swords. In short, this is a versatile monster that can provide a challenge to seasoned adventuring parties, and which fits in well in nearly any dungeon.

The origins of this monster lie in my childhood. I distinctly recall walking through the neighborhood at night and hearing loud scraping and clanking sounds coming from the neighbor's garage, like someone was shaking a sack full of scissors. Obviously, it was just the neighbor digging through his toolbox or something, but because it was dark out (I lived in a wooded area with no streetlights) and because I was young and easily spooked, I imagined a terrible monster whose body was made out of hundreds of swords and blades, all of them scraping rustily together as it moved. The image stuck with me somehow through the succeeding decades, eventually manifesting itself in this monster.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Dire Eagle, The Largest Bird of Prey

Today's Monster Monday is the dire eagle, or harpagornis. While it is nowhere near as large as the giant eagles of Tolkien's Middle Earth, the harpagornis has the benefit of having actually existed. Not only did it exist, but it lived recently enough to kill and eat humans.

illustration by John Megahan in this article, via Wikimedia

When the Maori arrived in New Zealand in the 13th century, they found a mountainous, forested land full of giant flightless birds - moa - that were really easy to hunt. Then they discovered what ate those birds. It was a huge eagle with a nine foot wingspan. It dropped from the sky with the force of a falling rock, striking its prey with talons spread wider than a man's hand. If that didn't kill the moa, it could slash its neck with a quick nip from its sharp beak. If it took down a young moa, it might even be able to fly off with it.

The Maori soon hunted the moa to extinction, and without their favorite prey the giant eagle went extinct soon after. But the eagles and humans coexisted for over a century, during which time the eagles probably got a chance to try out some new bipedal prey. Maori legends tell of a giant man-eating bird called a pouakai that was large enough to carry a man off in its talons. In one tale, the hero Hau-o-Tawera bested the bird by making a large strong net and having some villagers walk around under it looking tasty. When the pouakai dropped out of the sky on them, it was trapped in the net and they stabbed it with spears.

Today, the giant eagle of New Zealand is called the Haast's Eagle, and its scientific name is Harpagornis, meaning 'grappling hook bird' because of its massive talons.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Seafoam Slime, the Coastal Creeper

Today's Monster Monday is seafoam slime, an aquatic ooze that lurks in the shallows waiting to rush out like a rogue wave and tackle its prey, pinning them and filling their lungs with foamy water so that it can drag them back into the surf to feed.

The seafoam slime has Improved Bull Rush, Trip, and Drag, allowing it to unleash a barrage of combat maneuvers designed to disrupt a small part of adventurers in a way that feels very natural for what basically amounts to a living wave. It may be a CR 4 monster, but its Drown ability means it can easily incapacitate an unwary adventurer if it gets the drop on them.

photo by Brocken Inaglory, via Wikimedia

Sea foam at Ocean Beach, San Francisco

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Amphicyon, Prehistoric Bear-Dog

Today's Monster Monday is amphicyon, also known as the bear-dog, a prehistoric predator related to both bears and dogs, which had features of each. The largest bear dog species had the size and power of grizzly bears, while smaller bear-dogs acted more like wolves. The bear dog statted up below is somewhere in between - a predator with the bulk and strength of a black bear, but a more wolf-like head and tail.

Reconstruction of the amphicyonid Ysengrinia
from an article by Borja Figueirido, Juan A. Pérez-Claros, Robert M. Hunt, Jr., and Paul Palmqvist, drawing by Óscar San−Isidro, via Wikimedia

Amphicyonids in all their myriad forms roamed across North America, Europe, Asia, and Africa from 46 to 1.8 million years ago. The larger, more bear-like species were probably omnivorous, but ate more meat than modern brown and black bears. The smaller amphicyonid species could be represented by the stat blocks for wolf, dog, or dire racoon, or by applying the young simple template to the stat block below. Giant amphicyonids like amphicyon ingens can be made by applying the giant simple template.

Also, I bet their cub-puppies were adorable.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Seven Spooky Skeletons - Ubbe the Spooky

Seven Spooky Skeletons is a short series running until Halloween, showcasing a different unique skeletal villain each night.

Tonight's Spooky Skeleton is Ubbe the Spooky, a cavorting skeleton bard who plays his own ribcage as a xylophone. Ubbe is named after legendary animator and Mickey Mouse co-creator Ubbe 'Ub' Iwerks, who animated the classic Silly Symphony, "The Skeleton Dance," which is mandatory Halloween viewing.

Happy Halloween!

The following text is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

This bare skeleton dances rhythmically as it plays out a chilling xylophone solo on its own ribcage

Ubbe the Spooky           CR 6

XP 2,400

Human skeletal champion bard 8

NE Medium undead

Init +8; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +14

DEFENSE

AC 19, touch 17, flat-footed 12 (+4 Dex, +2 natural, +3 dodge)

hp 95 (10d8+50)

Fort +14, Ref +10, Will +10; +4 channel resistance, +4 vs bardic performance, language dependent, sonic

DR 5/bludgeoning; Immune cold, undead traits

OFFENSE

Speed 35 ft.

Melee percussive bone club +6/+6/+1/+1 (1d6+1 plus 1d4 sonic)

Ranged returning percussive bone club +11 (1d6+1 plus 1d4 sonic) 10ft.

Special Attacks bardic performance 29 rounds/day (countersong, dirge of doom, distraction, fascinate, inspire competence +3, inspire courage +2, suggestion, unhallow)

Spells Known (CL 8^th)

3   3^rd (3/day; DC 18) – blink, fear, thundering drums

4   2^nd (5/day; DC 17) – allegro, distressing tone, haunting mists, mad hallucination

5   1^st (6/day; DC 16) – cause fear, ear-piercing scream, expeditious retreat, hideous laughter, vanish

6   cantrips (at will; DC 15) – daze, ghost sound, mage hand, open-close, prestidigitation, summon instrument

STATISTICS

Str 12, Dex 18, Con --, Int 12, Wis 13, Cha 20

Base Atk +7; CMB +8; CMD 22

Feats Dodge, Double Slice, Extra Performance, Fleet, Improved Initiative^B, Improved Two-Weapon Fighting, Two-Weapon Fighting

Skills Acrobatics +17, Bluff +18, Diplomacy +13, Escape Artist +9, Intimidate +18, Knowledge (local) +9, Knowledge (religion) +9, Perception +14, Perform (dance) +18, Perform (percussion) +18, Sense Motive +9, Spellcraft +5, Stealth +12, Use Magic Device +9

Languages Common, Necril

SQ bardic knowledge +4, lore master, versatile performance (dance, percussion)

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Loose Joints (Ex)

Ubbe the Spooky can separate the joints of his bones at will and come back together a moment later, allowing him to, for example, dodge a sword blow to the neck by throwing his skull up into the air. This grants Ubbe a +2 dodge bonus to his AC.

Play Dead (Ex)

Ubbe the Spooky can collapse into a pile of disconnected bones as an immediate action, granting him a +10 bonus to his Bluff check to pretend to be destroyed. This bonus applies only for the first time he uses it against any given observer. Ubbe can reassemble himself as a move action that provokes attacks of opportunity.

Percussive Bones (Su)

Ubbe can use his own bones and the bones of other skeletons as percussion instruments. Any bone he wields as a weapon counts as a club and deals an additional 1d4 points of sonic damage. Any bones he throws as a weapon gain the returning weapon quality.

Unhallow (Su)

Ubbe the Spooky has access to a special bardic performance called unhallow. While ubbe makes an unhallow performance, all undead creatures within 50 feet gain 5 bonus hit points and channel resistance +2. This channel resistance stacks with any existing channel resistance.

ECOLOGY

Treasure none

Ubbe the Spooky is a cavorting skeleton bard. In life, he was a morose and ill-tempered performer who, while talented and beloved by his fans, despised himself and his work. It is said that, while in one of his fits of depression, he heard a joke that caused him to break out into such raucous laughter that he died instantly. In death, he found new purpose in his performances which had eluded him in life. He has devoted his unlife both to poking fun at death and to reminding mortals of their inevitable demise through song and dance. He takes special delight in scaring people to death. He sees life as an elaborate practical joke to which death is the punchline.

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-your seventh spooky d20 despot 

Seven Spooky Skeletons - The Hanged Archer

Seven Spooky Skeletons is a short series running until Halloween, showcasing a different unique skeletal villain each night.

Tonight's Spooky Skeleton is the Hanged Archer, a blind skeleton with a noose around its neck and a sack over its head who is a supernaturally excellent marksman. Once a poacher of the king's game, now he poaches man.

The following text is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

This skeleton wears an old noose around its bony neck and a sack of burlap over its head. Despite its obscured vision, it bears a longbow, to which it nocks an arrow with practiced ease.

The Hanged Archer      CR 5

XP 1,600

Human skeletal champion ranger 7

CE Medium undead

Init +9; Senses blindsight 500 ft.; Perception +4

DEFENSE

AC 18, touch 16, flat-footed 12 (+5 Dex, +1 dodge, +2 natural)

hp 72 (2d8+7d10+25)

Fort +8, Ref +11, Will +7; +4 channel resistance

DR 5/bludgeoning; Immune cold, undead traits

Defensive Abilities vulnerability

OFFENSE

Speed 30 ft.

Melee mwk morningstar +12/+7 (1d8+3)

Ranged +1 composite longbow +15/+10 (1d8+4/x3) 100ft.

Special Attacks favored enemy (humans +4, animals +2)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 9^th)

   1/day – quickened true strike

Spells Prepared (CL 4^th)

1   2^nd – acute senses

2   1^st – gravity bow, jump

STATISTICS

Str 16, Dex 20, Con --, Int 10, Wis 15, Cha 14

Base Atk +8; CMB +11; CMD 26

Feats Deadly Aim, Dodge, Far Shot, Improved Initiative^B, Point-Blank Shot^B, Precise Shot, Rapid Shot^B, Vital Strike, Weapon Focus (longbow)

Skills Climb +11, Craft (traps) +10, Intimidate +10, Knowledge (nature) +12, Perception +14, Sense Motive +11, Stealth +17, Survival +14

Languages Common

SQ favored terrain (forest +2), hunters bond (companions), track (+3 to follow tracks), wild empathy, woodland stride

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Blind Archer (Su)

The Hanged Archer is blind, but has access to supernatural senses that give him perfect blindsense out to 500 feet. From 500 to 1000 feet, his blindsense grows hazy (targets gain 20% concealment), and beyond 1000 feet he can see nothing. His supernatural senses also give him quickened true strike as a spell-like ability once per day.

Blinding Critical (Ex)

Whenever the Hanged Archer scores a critical hit against a favored enemy, in addition to the damage dealt by the crit, the target permanently blinded in one eye.

ECOLOGY

Treasure NPC gear (mwk morningstar, +1 composite longbow (+3 Str), 18 arrows, 2x +1 dwarf bane arrows, 2x +1 elf bane arrows, 2x +1 gnome bane arrows, 2x +1 halfling bane arrows, 2x +1 human bane arrows, 2x +1 orc bane arrows, masterwork quiver, other treasure)

The Hanged Archer bears the noose that he was hanged with around his neck, and the burlap sack from the hanging still covers his head. His bones are yellowed with age and smudged with dirt. In life, he was a poacher and an expert marksman. He delighted in demonstrating his prowess with the bow at every opportunity, and often embarrassed the king’s gamekeepers who pursued him. When he was finally captured, his eyes were gouged out before he was publicly hanged. In undeath, he has begun hunting man, and he has found that he is even better at it than he ever was at poaching deer.

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-your sixth spooky d20 despot 

Seven Spooky Skeletons - Jack of Flame

Seven Spooky Skeletons is a short series running until Halloween, showcasing a different unique skeletal villain each night.

Tonight's Spooky Skeleton is Jack of Flame, a skeletal sorcerer of fire who can teleport by throwing his explosive jack-o-lantern head.

The following text is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

This skeleton, bearing a scythe, has a devilishly carved jack-o-lantern in place of a skull. Tongues of fire trail from the mouth and eye-holes as he moves forward to attack.

Jack of Flame       CR 6

XP 2,400

Human skeletal champion sorcerer 9

NE Size undead (fire)

Init +7; Senses darkvision 60 ft.; Perception +11

Special special

DEFENSE

AC 20, touch 14, flat-footed 16 (+3 Dex, +2 natural, +1 dodge, +4 mage armor)

hp 95 (9d6+2d8+55)

Fort +8, Ref +8, Will +11; +4 channel resistance

DR 5/bludgeoning; Immune cold, fire, undead traits

Vulnerability vulnerability

OFFENSE

Speed 30 ft.

Melee +1 scythe +7/+2 (2d4+1 plus 1d6 fire/x4)

Ranged mwk dart +10/+5 (1d4 plus 1d6 fire) 20ft.

Special Attacks elemental blast (1/day, 9d6 fire, 20 ft. radius, DC 19 Reflex halves), elemental ray (8/day, 1d6+4 fire, 30 ft. ray), fiery teleportation (1/hour, 5d6 fire; see text)

Spell-Like Abilities (CL 11^th)

   1/day – vomit centipede swarm

Spells Prepared (CL 9^th)

2   4^th (5/day; DC 19) – bestow curse, dragon’s breath, elemental body I^B,

3   3^rd (7/day; DC 18) – fireball, flame arrow, fly, protection from energy^B,

4   2^nd (7/day; DC 17) – burning gaze, fire breath, flaming sphere, pyrotechnics, scorching ray^B,

5   1^st (8/day; DC 16) – burning disarm, burning hands^B, cause fear, enlarge person, grease, mage armor

8   cantrips (at will; DC 15) – acid splash, bleed, dancing lights, daze, ghost sound, mage hand, mending, spark

Bloodline elemental (fire)

BASE STATISTICS

Without mage armor, Jack of Flame’s armor class is: AC 16, flat-footed 12

STATISTICS

Str 11, Dex 16, Con --, Int 13, Wis 14, Cha 20

Base Atk +6; CMB +6; CMD 19

Feats Arcane Strike, Combat Casting, Dodge, Empower Spell, Eschew Materials^B, Improved Initiative^B, Lightning Reflexes^B, Martial Weapon Proficiency (scythe), Quick Draw, Weapon Focus (ray)

Skills Bluff +13, Fly +8, Intimidate +19, Knowledge (arcane) +7, Knowledge (nature) +4, Perception +11, Profession (farmer) +16, Sense Motive +11, Spellcraft +10, Stealth +10, Use Magic Device +10

Languages Common, Ignan

SQ bloodline arcana (spontaneously change spell’s energy damage type to fire), soul of fire

SPECIAL ABILITIES

Soul of Fire (Su)

Jack of Flame is immune to fire, and all weapons wielded by him deal an additional 1d6 points of fire damage.

Fiery Teleportation (Su)

Once per hour, as a standard action, Jack of Flame can teleport by throwing his jack-o-lantern head. He makes a ranged touch attack against a square of his choosing with a range increment of 20 feet. If the attack fails, the jack-o-lantern lands in a different square 5 ft./range increment away (roll 1d8 to determine the direction). Upon landing, the jack-o-lantern explodes in a blast of fire, dealing 5d6 points of fire damage to all creatures in the target square and in each adjacent square. Creatures succeeding on a DC 20 Reflex save take only half damage.

   Jack of Flame then appears in the target square, his jack-o-lantern head restored to his rejuvenated skeletal body. His old headless body crumples to dust. Teleporting in this way ends any ongoing effects affecting Jack of Flame (except those caused by spells that Jack of Flame cast) and restores any ability score damage or lost limbs, though his HP remains the same. The save DC for this effect is Charisma-based.

Vomit Centipede Swarm (Sp)

Jack of Flame can vomit a swarm of centipedes from his jack-o-lantern mouth as a standard action once per day. This spell functions as the spell vomit swarm, but it produces a centipede swarm instead of a spider swarm, and the centipede swarm is immune to fire.

ECOLOGY

Treasure NPC gear (+1 scythe, 6x mwk darts, 4x flasks of alchemist’s fire, potion of inflict moderate wounds (CL 5^th), wand of entangle (CL 3^rd; 22 uses remaining), other treasure)

This otherwise unassuming skeleton is missing its skull. In its place is a jack-o-lantern carved with a wicked grin and full of unending fire. In life, this man was a lonely farmer, shunned as a firebug and arsonist by his community. He never learned how to control his sorcerous powers, but he was encouraged by mischievous fire spirits. Some stories say his fires saved his village during a particularly harsh winter, but they went back to shunning him as soon as Spring came. Other stories tell of a lost love and a hunger for vengeance. Whatever the case, all agree that Jack’s rampage began at his village’s harvest festival. His flames engulfed the entire town, burning all within. One brave farmer, his name lost to the ages, used his dying strength to behead Jack with a scythe – the very scythe which Jack now carries, permanently marked by the nick left by Jack’s neck bones. From the ashes of that deadly fire rose Jack of Flame, the pumpkin-headed firebrand, a spirit of vengeance and cruelty. He knows little of subtlety – what a little fire won’t solve, a lot of fire just might. 

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-your fifth spooky d20 despot