Monster Monday: Xiuhcoatl, Aztec Fire Serpent

Today's Monster Monday is the xiuhcoatl, a fire serpent from Aztec mythology. This serpentine dragon has turquoise. Waves of heat ripple around it as it vents steam and breathes fire. When angered, it can charge with lightning speed, striking its target with an explosion of fiery force.

Xiuhcoatl sculpture at the British Museum (author's photo)

In Aztec mythology, the god Huitzilopochtli used his atlatl to throw xiuhcoatl like lightning-bolt javelin. It was how he killed his sister Coyalxauhqui when she led the Southern Star Gods to war against their pregnant mother. Xiucoatl was also a form of Xiuhtecuhtli - the Turquoise Lord - Aztec god of fire. Xiuhcoatl is the lightning bolt that starts a brushfire in the grasslands, the fire that rains out of a volcanic eruption, and the heat of the sun in the dry season.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Drop Bear - Australian Tall Tale

Today's Monster Monday is the drop bear, a big mean koala that plummets out of the trees onto its hapless prey. Unlike regular koalas, these drop bears are carnivorous predators with a taste for human flesh. It's still pretty cute, though.

modified (by me) from a photo by JJ Harrison on Wikimedia

Drop bears were a joke that Australians played on outsiders, building off the fact that Australian fauna is terrifying and deadly. It is unclear whether this is an original Australian settler tall tale, or if it originated from a joke Australian aborigines played on the invading whites, or even if it might come from some Australian aboriginal myth. We know from the yara-ma-ya-who that the Australian aborigines were no stranger to reddish mythical creatures that come down from trees to mess people up.

In combat, this monster has a pretty solid opening move - it drops from above onto its presumably flat-footed prey, and if it hits with any of its three attacks it takes no falling damage and inflicts half of the falling damage it would have taken to its target. If hunting a lone target, this gives the drop bear a solid chance of knocking it out so that it can drag it up the tree to feed at its leisure. If fighting a group of targets (say, an adventuring party), the drop bear might be able to knock out the most dangerous looking one, giving it a chance to drive off the others with its clumsier, less gravity-aided attacks.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Termite Mound Guardian, a Swarm-Filled Construct

Today's Monster Monday is the termite mound guardian, a druidic construct full of swarming, biting termites. Crafted from the gigantic termite mounds found in the tropical regions of the world, these stalwart defenders are often created to protect villages, natural resources, or sacred spaces. From a distance, they appear to be ordinary termite mounds, but when interlopers approach, they rise out of the ground, taking on a roughly humanoid form. A flood of angry termites pours from a thousand tiny tunnels throughout its body, massing against the enemy, while other warrior termites take up defensive positions along the mound's body, ready to bite any who make contact with it.

via Wikimedia

5 meter high Cathedral Termite Mound - Litchfield National Park, Northern Territory, Australia

I like the idea that there is a whole range of naturalistic constructs that only druids can make. Like, if a wizard saw a termite mound guardian, they might think, "Why not just make a clay golem?" But druids see these as something that augments and complements nature, where golems are something that contravenes the natural order.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

Dawn of the Plane of the Apes: Gigantopithecus, Dire Ape

Today's Monster Monday is part III of our month-long series about apes. This week, we're looking at the dire ape, or gigantopithecus. Gigantopithecus stood nearly 10 feet tall at full extension, making it a gigantic hulk of an ape. Older depictions of gigantopithecus often make it look like a giant gorilla, but the closest living relative of this giant Asian ape is actually the orangutan.

Gigantopithecus blacki, by KaekArt, via Wikimedia

We don't have a lot of fossils of gigantopithecus - mostly teeth from caves in China, India, and Vietnam. One thing missing are its pelvic bones, so we don't know for sure whether it walked upright like a human or on all fours like most apes. Given its bulk and the rarity of upright locomotion, it seems most likely that it used its arms and legs to walk, like a gorilla. But that hasn't stopped cryptozoologists from speculating (unfounded speculation is what they do, after all) that relic populations of gigantopithecus are responsible for sightings of sasquatches and yeti. That is, of course, dumb, but it is a gigantopithecus fun fact.

Since I reworked chimpanzees, orangutans, and gorillas, I had to rework the dire ape as well. As previously statted up, the dire ape was a CR 3 monster with 19 Strength. That would make them less powerful than my gorillas. Heck, it puts this giant ape roughly on par with a walrus. So the new dire ape is a CR 6 monster with 23 Strength. It has two slams, a bite attack, and rend. In combat, the gigantopithecus will bring its incredible strength to bear on any attackers, rending them limb from limb.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

Return to the Plane of the Apes: Gorilla & Silverback

Today's Monster Monday is part II of our month-long series about apes. This week, we're presenting the gorilla and the silverback. Gorillas are the largest of the apes, though our imaginations often inflate their size. Although gorillas are gentle, intelligent, social animals, they are also territorial. When angered or threatened, they can put their incredible strength to good use, slamming their rivals with their massive arms gouging enemies with their strong, sharp teeth.

Each troop of gorillas is led by a dominant male called a silverback, who is always the largest and strongest of the troop. Most of the time, the silverback is the only male in the troop, though sometimes he has a cadre of adult male warriors at his command, called blackbacks. Because the silverback is so important to gorilla society, and because they are physically more powerful and more dangerous than other gorillas, I thought they deserved their own stat block.

Silverback gorilla. Photo by Pierre Fidenci, via Wikimedia

You may know that the scientific name for the western gorilla is Gorilla gorilla, but do you know where the word gorilla comes from? It is a Greek translation of a Carthaginian Phoenician interpretation of an unknown West African word that may not have even referred to gorillas. According to Herodotus, around 500 BC the Carthaginian explorer Hanno the Navigator sailed down the coast of West Africa, encountering tribes of people, exploring strange islands and lakes, and founding settlements. After passing by a country devastated by forest fires or a volcano, he encountered gorillas:

On the third day after our departure thence, having sailed by those streams of fire, we arrived at a bay called the Southern Horn; at the bottom of which lay an island like the former, having a lake, and in this lake another island, full of savage people, the greater part of whom were women, whose bodies were hairy, and whom our interpreters called Gorillae. Though we pursued the men we could not seize any of them; but all fled from us, escaping over the precipices, and defending themselves with stones. Three women were however taken; but they attacked their conductors with their teeth and hands, and could not be prevailed upon to accompany us. Having killed them, we flayed them, and brought their skins with us to Carthage. 

It is open to debate whether the apes Hanno and his men encountered were gorillas or chimpanzees, or if this incident even occurred, but that is ultimately where we get the name 'gorilla'.

From our first recorded encounter with gorillas (though Hanno's was obviously far from the first encounter), our two species have had a troubled co-existance. Today we recognize the importance of protecting these gentle giants, but past humans - especially past Europeans - haven't been so charitable. In that light, gorillas can certainly serve as a formidable foe in any campaign where they are encountered.

via Bayerische Staatsbibliothek and Wikimedia

Pictured: Almost certainly not how this encounter happened

I should point out that both gorillas and chimpanzees are quadrupedal, rising to their hind legs only rarely. Chimpanzees can move a bit on their hind legs, but gorillas can only rear up. As such, I have given these apes the +4 to CMD vs trip attempts that quadrupedal creatures are entitled to, and that they were not given when they were originally statted up for Pathfinder.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

Plane of the Apes, Part I: Chimpanzees and Orangutans

I hope y'all like apes, because this month's Monster Mondays are all ape related. I'll explain why in a moment, but first: Today's Monster Monday (yes, I know it's Tuesday) is the chimpanzee and the orangutan. Both of these great apes are intelligent, tool-using forest dwellers. While orangutans are typically loners, chimpanzees have a complex social structure. Chimps will even form hunting parties and sometimes engage in inter-troop warfare.

Orangutan photo by David Arvidsson, via Wikimedia / Chimpanzee photo by Hans Hillewaert, via Wikimedia

At this point, some of you may be wondering, "Hey, but chimpanzees and orangutans are already statted up for Pathfinder. So are gorillas and gigantopitheci, two of the other apes I determined you were going to be profiling either by guessing, reading ahead, or through use of my own psychic powers. So why are you statting them up again?" A fair question. Several months ago, I set out to stat up a man-ape - the sort of monstrous beast that Conan might fight in a rad Frank Frazetta painting or an equally rad but problematically racist Conan short story. In so doing, I checked the pre-existing stat blocks for several apes in order to get a baseline to work off of. What I found was a bit of a mess. According to their stat blocks, chimpanzees and orangutans have 11 Strength - roughly what an average peasant NPC might have. If you know anything about apes, you know this is wrong. Chimps and orangutans have incredibly strong arm muscles. Like Kickpuncher, their punches have the power of kicks. In fact, unless you are pals with Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson, adult chimpanzees are probably stronger than anyone you've ever met. The much stronger gorilla has a Strength score of 15, which you might recognize as the roll you got for your fighter's Strength shortly before the GM let you re-roll.

So I set to work doing what RPG nerds do best - pedantically correcting the products of hard-working professional game designers. I did some research into the strength of apes, the many attempts to measure ape strength compared to humans and the assorted downfalls of such trial methods. I read about how apes defend themselves in the wild, and what parts of their body they use when attacking each other. I looked at Wikipedia and saw that gorillas are usually 4'11"-5'11" tall, putting them squarely in the Medium size category, not Large as they had been statted up. I went to a zoo and stood next to a gorilla and confirmed that no, they are not as big as horses. I took all of this knowledge and used it to give you this wonderful month full of apes.

Next week, we will Return to the Plane of the Apes with the gorilla and silverback gorilla, then we'll journey Beneath the Plane of the Apes to dig up the aptly named gigantopithecus, also known as the Dire Ape. Finally, we'll witness the War for the Plane of the Apes with the terrifying and monstrous Man-Ape. But first, let's look at those stat blocks for the chimpanzee and orangutan.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Shadow Cat, Predator in the Darkness

Today's Monster Monday is the shadow cat, a magical black panther infused with shadow magic, allowing it to blend into areas of darkness, teleport between shady spots, and even generate its own supernatural darkness. This predatory cat, from whose sleek black fur constantly seeps wisps of smokey darkness, is a formidable hunter in warm forested regions with lots of undergrowth.

Panther illustration from Brehm's Life of Animals (1895), via the Biodiversity Heritage Library and Wikimedia

(This is not to be confused with the Marvel superheroes Shadow Cat and Black Panther, which coincidentally are also the names of my laptop and my gaming PC.)

Encounters with shadowcats should be dynamic, with lots of movement as the creature strikes and repositions, taking full advantage of the environment to maneuver itself to strike at the party's weakest and least defended members.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Sivatherium - Dire Giraffe?

Today's Monster Monday is sivatherium, a prehistoric giraffe that had a moose-like head of antlers. Sivatherium was not as long-necked and spindly as modern giraffes. While its neck was rather long, this beast was thicker and stockier, weighing more than the average adult giraffe at around half the height. I guess you could think of it as a condensed giraffe. With antlers.

photo by Hiuppo, via Wikimedia

Sivatherium reconstruction in the Museum of Evolution of Polish Academy of Sciences

The sivatherium ranged across Africa and India during the Pliocene epoch and survived in some areas up until 8,000 years ago. It also had a really cool looking skull:

photo by Ghedoghedo, via Wikimedia

Skull and leg of sivatherium giganteum in the Natural History Museum, London

In a campaign setting, a sivatherium would stand out as an attractive target for a hunt, as it is tall and distinct enough to spot from far away, it is packed with almost a ton of meat, and its skull and hide would make distinctive trophies. It would also be challenging to hunt, as its high vantage point would give it advance warning of approaching enemies, and its long legs and neck would allow it to lash out at attackers with surprising reach.
The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2018 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Yara-Ma-Yha-Who - He Eats You When You're Sleeping

"Get up, young lazybones! Do not sleep under the fig tree! Did I not tell you who lives up there? I didn't? Well, I'm telling you now, so listen up and listen good! You want to grow up big and tall, right? Then don't do what I did. 

   "I used to be tall when I was younger. Taller than your father, in fact. Don't laugh, it's true. But I was lazy, like you, and I often stole away to nap in the shade of the fig tree instead of helping with the work. One day I woke up from my nap and found my skin had grown redder. I thought it was a sunburn, but it could not have been. See, even my back was redder! And when I went home, my mother thought I was shorter. And I had these round wounds on my neck. Father thought they were bug bites, but they were not from any bug we knew.

   "It was a long while before I fell asleep under the fig trees again. The next time I did, I woke up even redder and even shorter than before! I was even shorter than my old mum now! Well, I did not want this to happen again, but I did want to know what had done it to me, so I came up with a plan.

   "One day, when the sun was high in the sky, I went to the fig grove and pretended to sleep. I waited and waited, and sure enough, something came down out of the tree. It wasn't a bug, it was a little man - yea high - and bright red all over. He had a big head like an overripe fig, and a big mouth, and suckers on his fingers and toes like the suckers of the octopi we see at the beach. It came down the tree head-first, and as it opened its mouth to swallow me up, I leapt to grab it. I brought a sack with me, and I tried to wrestle it into the sack so that I could bring it back to the village to show everyone. But it escaped and ran up the tree and out of sight.

   "I think if it had swallowed me one more time, I would be just as short and just as red as it was. Think, I might even have turned into one myself! Do you wonder, now, why an old man like me is always going about his work, even in the hot sun? And why you never catch me napping here in the shade? It could happen to you too, boy! So get off your lazy butt and get back to work!"

Today's Monster Monday is the yara-ma-yha-who, a strange creature from Aboriginal Australian mythology. The yara-ma-yha-who is a short man with bright red skin, a round, oversized head, and sucker-tipped fingers and toes. It preys on victims who fall asleep under its tree, draining blood with its suckers and swallowing its victims whole. It does not eat those whom it swallows, though. It regurgitates them, leaving them redder and shorter than before. If an individual is swallowed and regurgitated enough times by a yara, it becomes one!

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Blink Raptors, Deadly Teleporting Dinos

A constant damp pervaded the whole jungle. It wasn't even raining; water just dripped perpetually from leaf to leaf, more than enough to make sure that nothing ever dried out. Not for the first time today, the magistress was glad not to be wearing her academic robes, which would have instantly become unbearably sodden and overwhelming in this environment. Instead she wore simple, practical travelers' garb which belied the fact that she was the foremost expert in her field. She was supposed to be here studying the local plant life in all its scientifically intriguing strangeness. Now she barely registered it. A lot had changed since yesterday, when her expedition had been betrayed by her mysterious benefactor's security chief, leaving them unprepared for the furious onslaught of the monsters who dwelt in the deep jungle.
   "I can see the cave from here," she called out to the ranger, Muldoon. They were searching for Sir Raymond Arnold, who had been missing since last night. He had been seeking out an important artifact thought hidden in a nearby cave. The cave's black maw stood not far away, across a small clearing. So close, and yet Magistress Sattler was unnerved at the thought of exposing herself, even for a moment, by leaving the cover of the trees. "We can make it if we run," she suggested.
   "No we can't," Muldoon said, flat and measured, eyes fixed on a patch of jungle not twenty meters away.
   "Why not?"
   "Because we are being hunted."
   "Oh, gods..."
   "In the bushes, straight ahead. It's alright."
   A shadow flicked across the patch of leaves, and suddenly she could see a green reptilian eye watching them. "Like Hell it is!"
   But the keen-eyed ranger was already nocking an arrow to his bow. "Run. Towards the cave. I've got her." He paced forward, ever so slowly, and Magistress Sattler stayed with him, unwilling to free herself from this last safety tether. "Go!"
   She spun and immediately tripped on a root, twisting her ankle. She sprang up and hobbled faster than she had ever run on two good legs, leaping over logs, sliding through puddles, and out into the clearing. She breathed through gritted teeth, not daring to look behind her until she passed under the roof of the cave. 

Muldoon took one step forward, then another, slowly drawing his bowstring back until his thumb brushed his jaw. The creature clearly saw him, but made no move to attack. The dumb beast had probably never seen a bow before. He let fly the arrow, straight at the monster's eye. Faster than the arrow, the monster disappeared, reappearing in the same instant right next to him.
   "Clever girl." Muldoon nocked and drew again in the blink of an eye, but as he whirled to skewer the beast at point-blank range, it squealed and lunged at him. he was surrounded, but by how many he couldn't tell - they seemed to shift in and out of existence. Their claws slashed at him from everywhere and nowhere at once.
   The blink raptors' pack leader watched the kill unfold from the bushes not five feet away from where Muldoon had stood; completely still, eerily silent, and undoubtedly clever.

Today's Monster Monday is the blink raptor, a fierce and intelligent magical dinosaur that can teleport and phase in and out of the Material Plane. Think blink dog mixed with deinonychus.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Lightning Bug, An Electric Insect

Today's Monster Monday is the lightning bug, a flashy magical insect that fires bolts of electricity at its enemies.  It's basically a living bug zapper.

Lightning bugs are surrounded by a field of electric energy that grows stronger the more of them there are in close proximity, allowing each lighting bug to draw on the electric fields of their neighbors to deliver a powerful jolt.  In combat, this means that each individual lightning bug does more damage when it is near multiple other lightning bugs.  This novel game mechanic makes fighting lightning bugs interesting and engaging for the players as they work out how the ability functions and how best to counter it.

Modified from a photo of Photinus pyralis taken by antfarmer, via Wikimedia

In addition, lightning bugs can deliver a blinding flash which dazzles nearby opponents, at the cost of draining its electrical energy for a few rounds.  Engaging these creatures in melee also has its risks, as any hit on the bug has a chance of delivering an electric shock to the attacker.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Pangolins, Armor-Covered Anteaters

Today's Monster Monday is the pangolin, also known as the spiny anteater.  Pangolins are small insectivorous mammals covered in thick overlapping scales.  They curl up into a defensive ball like an armadillo, presenting a front of spiny armor plates to any predators trying to bite them.  There are about eight species of pangolins ranging across Africa, India, Southeast Asia, and South China.  The smaller species of pangolin tend to be tree-dwellers, using their sharp claws and prehensile armored tails to navigate life in the branches, while the larger ones are ground-dwellers and burrowers.  Tree pangolins also tend to be good swimmers; they suck in extra air in their stomach and then glide through the water with an undulating motion.

Giant Pangolin, by Joseph Wolf (1865), via Wikimedia

Of course I statted up both the tree and ground pangolins, because more is always better.  Tree pangolins make a great (and adorable) choice of familiar for wizards and witches that hail from tropical climes.

A tree pangolin hanging by its tail, via Wikimedia

Of course, because pangolins are covered with natural armor, they have occasionally been used to make armor for humans.  Consider pangolin hide armor for those who adventure in tropical settings.

Pangolin shield; Wikimedia

Pangolin armor; Wikimedia

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2017 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Planticore, a Leafy Beast

The goat was a problem, so he let it go.  It must have sensed its fate.  Broussilos would just have to hope that the wine would be enough of an offering.  He adjusted the thick straps that held the amphora on his back and continued his arduous trek up the mountain.  The Spring of Laersippos was hidden near the peak, guarded by a fierce manticore.  Local legend said the beast could be placated with the right gift, but no one was quite sure what that gift was.  A short bronze blade beat against Broussilos' thigh with every step: purely a measure of last resort.  The wine sloshed rhythmically in its container, like waves against the side of a ship at anchor.  If it wouldn't buy him passage to the spring, it might at least be enough to buy his safe retreat from the mountain.  

The brush grew thicker, wild vines choking out all else.  They pulled at his sandals, slashed at his linen greaves, and even caught on the amphora as if they, too, thirsted for wine.  Broussilos pushed through a plait of hanging tree branches and came face to face with the manticore.  It was upside-down, its huge man-like face purple and bloated, spiky beard matted with week-old blood.  Its wings were splayed out on the ground, pinned in place with serrated thorns as long as a man's arm.  Probing creepers grew into every nook and gash in its hide, twining about its bare ribs, hungry for decaying flesh.  

All in all, it was a very dead manticore.  

Broussilos could hear the burbling of the spring muffled by a mat of dense vegetation.  He took two steps toward it.  A great rustling of leaves marked the emergence of another great beast.  It was a cruel mockery of a manticore, its face all of knotted wood, its wings of veiny leaves.  Its leonine torso was woven of twisting brambles, and its swishing tail bristled with javelin-like thorns very much resembling those which peppered the corpse of the real manticore.  It growled, its voice like a thick cedar straining against a gale, and its amber eyes fixed on the intruder.

"I don't suppose you'll be wanting this wine," Broussilos began, unslinging the heavy amphora.  The beast's reply was an angry rattle of branches.  Then the vines all around snaked toward him, rearing up to grab at his limbs.  Bursts of nettles spattered his skin with burning poison.  "Very well then."  Broussilos cracked open the amphora's beeswax seal with the pommel of his sword and dumped the wine into his face, swallowing as much as possible and letting the rest spill over his body.  He tossed the half-empty container to the side, gripped his sword, thews tensing, and threw himself at the leafy monster.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today's Monster Monday is the planticore, which - as you might imagine - is a manticore made out of plants.  My wife threw the name out as a joke, and I took it and ran with it.  Planticores bristle with thorns, and they can even swallow people whole and crush them in the wicker cage of brambles that is their belly.  They can bend nearby plants to their will, unleashing plant-based magic against their foes while hovering safely above the action, bombarding the area with a barrage of thorns.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2016 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Slow Loris, the Primate with the Poison Bite

Everyone turned to stare when the wizard entered the bar.  Magic types didn't often show up in this part of town, especially not ones dressed so fancy.  The spindly caster leaned on an intricately carved staff tipped with gleaming jewels.  His long blue robes were finely tailored and trimmed with gold.  His ink-black calfskin boots, lightly caked with fresh street-mud, otherwise showed no signs of wear.  And, most peculiarly, he had a furry, cat-sized creature clinging to his shoulder, gripping his robes with little human-like fingers and staring around with round eyes like silver thalers.

He didn't look like he belonged here in the Bilge and Bunyon, but he sure seemed to know what he wanted.  "Ratcatcher!" he shouted, storming toward the chubby Shadow Guild operative's table.  Three toughs stood simultaneously to bar the wizard's passage, but Ratcatcher waved them away.  One of them succeeded in taking the wizard's staff away, but the intruder didn't seem to mind.

"What brings you to my humble table today, Harmac?"

"You know damn well, Rat.  Where is it?"

Ratcatcher leaned back, his stout chair creaking like an old ship.  "I'm afraid I'm not a mind-reader, Harmac.  Maybe you fancy magic boy types forget we aren't all arcanely attuned."  The wizard seemed angry.  Ratcatcher drummed his sausage-like fingers on the table, showing off his many magic rings as a subtle reminder that he was warded against any spells Harmac might try on him.

"The idol, you greasy slop bucket!  Give me back the idol!"  Ratcatcher's bruisers shifted awkwardly behind the wizard, unsure when they should step in.

"I don't know anything about any idols.  I do know that tomb robbing is not looked kindly on by the authorities of this district, and Artaklan antiquities can only be claimed as private property with the appropriate documents of sale and provenance.  Do you have any such documents?"

Harmac reached across the table with surprising speed, hoisting Ratcatcher up by the collar.  With his other hand, he grabbed his sleepy looking pet by the scruff of the neck and shoved it in the thief's face.  "This is Lola," the wizard explained.  "She's a loris: the only species of monkey with a poisonous bite.  And once she latches on, she doesn't let go."

Lola slowly blinked.

"Urk... Don't monkeys usually got tails?"

Two of Ratcatcher's hired goons grabbed the wizard and yanked him away.  As Ratcatcher fell back into his chair, Harmac lobbed the primate at him and yelled, "Sic 'im, Lola!"

The creature, so placid a second ago, hissed wickedly and sunk its needle fangs into the thief's blubbery neck.  Ratcatcher shook his head wildly and slapped at the beast, but it only clamped down harder.  "Yeeooww!" he screeched.  Still trying to pry the simian assailant off with one hand, he reached into a leather satchel with the other and threw a jade idol across the table.  "Take the damn idol, ya crazy wizard!  Just get yer thrice-cursed pet off me!"

Harmac pushed the bruisers away from him, straightened his robes, and whistled two short notes.  Lola unclamped her jaw from the fat man's neck and waddled across the table, grabbing the idol along the way.

Ratcatcher cursed and rubbed the red swelling on his neck.  "You owe me 2500 thalers for the rock, Harmac.  I see you again and you don't got the money, you and yer little tree-rat are dead!"

Turning for the door, Harmac grabbed his staff and gave Lola an appreciative scratch under the chin.  "Pleasure doing business with you!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Today's Monster Monday is the slow loris, the world's only venomous primate!  Okay, technically it isn't venom but a toxic, allergenic compound secreted by a gland of the animal's armpit that activates when mixed with the loris' saliva, supplemented by their diet of poisonous plants, but that takes longer to say.  And technically slender lorises have the same toxic defense system as the slow loris, but people know about slow lorises because they've been in a bunch of youtube videos.  Call me when you're an internet sensation, slender lorises.

via Wikimedia

Also, unlike what certain wizards and thieves in the above story snippet may have suggested, lorises aren't monkeys; they are more closely related to lemurs.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2016 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Riding Hummingbird, the Fast Fey Flying Mount

Today's Monster Monday is the riding hummingbird, a man-sized hummingbird bred and ridden by small fey races because of their incredible speed and maneuverability.  I even made stats for giant hummingbird animal companions for druids, because why not?

Magnificent Hummingbird (Eugenes fulgens), by Mdf, via Wikimedia

There aren't enough flowers in the Prime Material Plane to support these sugar-crazy beasts in the wild, but the fey realms are a different story.  The High Humming Stables of the Seelie Court are well stocked with barrels of sweet nectar from magically enhanced blossoms.  Dashing little scouts ride these magnificent ruby-throated birds in teams of three in the van of the Faerie King's armies.  And every spring, the best hummingbird riders compete in a tournament - a twisting test of speed and maneuverability where riders catch rings with their lances from bird-back along a shifting three-dimensional aerial obstacle course.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2016 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Manchineel Treant, A Cruel and Poisonous Plant

Today's Monster Monday is the manchineel treant, a poisonous plant creature that delights in causing pain.  The manchineel is the deadliest tree known to man, with poisonous sap that can cause blisters and excruciating pain on contact and poisonous fruits that can cause your throat to swell up and close over.  If you take shelter from the rain under a manchineel tree, the raindrops will pick up sap from the leaves and burn you.  If you burn it, the smoke will blind you.

A manchineel tree, via Wikimedia

That's a tree that's just begging to be turned into a monster.  Even fire, an adventuring party's first recourse against plant monsters, just makes it more dangerous.

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is ©2016 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: The d20 Despot Aviary

Hello, dear readers. I hope you like birds!  For today's Monster Monday entry, I'm bringing you five species of birds, four of which make suitable familiars for your more wizardly characters.  So strap in for excitement as I present: a cassowary, a heron, a chicken, a duck, and a hummingbird.

Keep in mind that all of these are dinosaurs          (c)d20 despot

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is (C)2014 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Chalicothere, Prehistoric Clawed Horse-Beast

Today's Monster Monday entry is the chalicothere, a prehistoric creature related to horses and rhinos with long, powerful arms and curved claws.

source: wikipedia

The following text in gold is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is (C)2013 Jonah Bomgaars.

Monster Monday: Pantere, the Cat with the Sweet Breath

Today's Monster Monday entry is the pantere, a giant savannah cat that hunts by luring prey to its lair with its sweet breath.

source

The following text in yellow is available as Open Game Content under the OGL. Open Game Content is (C)2013 Jonah Bomgaars.